Yum! I made sure to stick to my original breakfast idea, which was basically just to add a hard boiled egg to a salad. I weighed out the veggies and was surprised (in a good way) to find that I was only eating one cup of the spring mix and spinach instead of the two cups serving size.
I also drank three cups of water already. I’m officially on a roll. Woohoo!
Hope you’re all having a fantastic day 🙂
J
Yawn! I was super super motivated when I went to sleep last night; like totally and completely motivated. I just woke up about 20 minutes ago and am just a wee bit less motivated. I will blame sleepiness and I vow to push through it and kick some butt today.
I have to get a bunch of work done. For those of you who do not know, I am a freelancer. My dream is to get a book published and blahblahblah later in my life; however, for now I would be perfectly content getting paid to write. I am writing for a few different companies, but it is not quite enough work so I am also doing a few other administrative type things (yay to using my degree). I really enjoy getting to work from home, but it also makes me awfully lazy. I have a bit of a problem sticking to my schedules working like this and that is something that I am trying to work on. I am almost tempted to give myself set hours each day and have that be work time so that I am definitely on a set schedule. I don’t know. We’ll see.
As of right now my plan for the day is to get in 30 minutes of exercise, take a shower, eat breakfast and then work for a little while. I have my meals planned out (like I mentioned) and will hopefully stick to that. Hopefully. I will be posting a screen shot of my completed diary entry on myfitnesspal after the day is done. With any luck my calories/macros will be where they should, my exercise will be plentiful, and my water intake will be around 12 cups.
It is snowing and gorgeous outside today, which I admit makes me want to curl up in my bed and watch a bunch of West Wing on Netflix and be completely and totally unproductive. I’ll just have to close the curtain :p
Here’s to a great first day back on track!
-J
Hello fit-fam!
It is an earlier night for me. Well, let me clarify that because for a lot of people it is morning time (ya know as 5AM is supposed to be). I have been getting into my bed around 6 or so each morning, but I guess all of the running around has gotten the best of me. If I was smart I would get in about a half hour of exercise and then sleep at 5:30, which in my defense is still earlier than what I have been doing. We’ll see.
Shopping was definitely a success. I made my list and added it to myfitnespal account and am pretty confident that I am going to be able to gorge myself silly on healthier foods and still lose a crap ton of weight; my goal.. in case you were wondering 😉
Actually, my goal makes me a bit sad. I originally had 140 pounds to lose. Yes, yikes! For those of you who know me and who followed my journey the first time around you know that I hated my starting weight. I mean, I know you aren’t supposed to hate your body and blahblahblah. My point is, at a horrifying 271 pounds, Â I hated my body. It wasn’t so much my body I suppose. It was more a deep anger at allowing myself to be so freaking unhealthy. As someone who has massive anxiety (panic attacks are not fun) and who is constantly worrying about dropping dead, you’d think I’d be healthy; wrong! So after years and years and years of lots of awful-for-me foods I jumped on board the lifestyle change and voila! I was actually good at it. Then I went through some emotional things and heyyyy it turns out I am a MAJOR emotional eater. I went from losing almost 100lbs.. (I was down to 179 pounds guys ONE SEVENTY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)… to weighing 245 pounds again. AHHHHHH. I hope you can sense the absolute self-hate and DISGUST that I am feeling. Or felt. Okay, feeling. I know, I know you are thinking “but Jamie, you did it once and you can do it again. don’t beat yourself up about it”…and you would be right except… I HAD ALMOST LOST 100 POUNDS! Yes, that was my 10 year old child rant for you all. I hope it was enjoyed.
So I am back to needing to lose about 110 pounds. I have been discouraged and disappointed in myself, which you should know only aided to my emotional eating and thus weight gain. I am still discouraged and disappointed in myself; however, the difference is that I actually want to move forward. I want to put down the cheeseburger (okay, you caught me… double cheeseburger…and large fry…and cake…and brownies….ooo and ice cream…cookies….okay okay…anything NOT nailed down) and become bffs (not an exaggeration) with my elliptical. I want to feel great and look better.
I was looking at pictures tonight of my transformation. I LOOKED DAMN GOOD, GUYS. I mean not to toot my own horn, but yum! I didn’t even realize how fantastic I was looking until I realized that I cannot fit into the clothes that I was wearing in those pictures. yikes!
So, basically, I’m back. I am here and I am determined.
Let’s do this.
-J
Nom nom nom.
The amount if healthy food that was just purchased. Uh and the ungodly amount of money I just spent on it. Regardless it was a good trip.
I have some work to get through but I’ll post before bed :).
Hope you all had an awesome day,
J
Grocery store time. Other than one last cheat dessert tonight, I will not stray from my list!
I’ll let you guys know how I do afterwards ;).
-J
So making grocery lists are hard. Want to know why? Dieting is hard. Yep, end of story.
I know what you are thinking: don’t think of it as a diet, think of if as a new lifestyle.
…Uh huh. Riiiiight.
Then I will appease you. Life is hard.
And so I say this after having stuffed myself merrily with fast food. I’m back to diet..I mean lifestyle..planning.
I think I am going to go back to trying to eat around 1,200 to 1,400 calories a day. which is unfortunate because the chocolate shake I had was basically that much. Sigh.
I plan on going back to posting pictures of my progress with daily updates and weekly weigh ins.
You’ll find that I will still want a chocolate shake, but I’ll rant about how I am killing that craving with a protein bar instead. Basically, I am ready to kick major butt again.
Booyah loves,
Jamie
It’s a new day and a new weight loss journey for me. Currently trying to make a grocery list ; I’ll keep ya posted.
<3’s
Jamie
Hello guys!
I know, I know – I kind of fell off the face of the blogging world for a little bit. I fell off the wagon. I stopped believing in myself. I gave in to the junk and fast food. Shocker, right? Ha! I had given up on myself so many times that it only makes sense that I kept failing.Â
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…..And then something happened. I know that a lot of you know the feeling that I am talking about. You reach a day where it just, clicks. You just know that you need to keep going. I have never felt anything like it in my weight-loss journey before. It’s arguable that I didn’t even begin my journey until I felt this feeling.Â
Let me back track a little bit. Dustin (my wonderful boyfriend) purchased an elliptical/bike for me to use and we both joined my fitness pal. I just started doing it. I began exercising, drinking only water, and counted every calorie. …I lost 5lbs the first week, 4.5lbs the second, 3.5 the third, and 2 last week for a total of 15lbs in one month.Â
……I am insanely happy!! For anyone who doesn’t know, My Fitness Pal is a website/app that you can use to help you keep track of your food/water/exercise. This site has helped me meet a lot of people (like all of you) who are insanely supportive. I now eat within my calorie limits, drink 8 cups of water, and exercise for at least 60 minutes….every day. I don’t know what happened, but I am so glad that it did.Â
It’s really funny, though. Every time I have tried before, I have failed miserably. It was always so hard and I was so miserable. ….This was not difficult at all. Don’t get me wrong, I had a few cravings and I gave in to a few temptations, but I always kept it reasonable. I had McDonald’s once this month and afterwards I exercised for 2 hours to work off every single calorie. I just understand more about how everything works. I can eat whatever I want as long as I am smart about it. …I don’t usually eat loads of junk like I used to, but I also try to let myself have small treats to ensure that I don’t end up wanting to bindge.Â
I probably won’t update this too much, but I did want to update everyone and let you all know that I am still here and that I have finally begun losing weight. …I feel amazing :).Â
I hope everyone is well!
-J
I somehow think that joining a gym or getting fancy exercise equipment is going to change my situation. I think that blogging about my struggles is going to make me seem stronger to the point where it may actually persuade me to do something about my weight.
I’ve blogged in the past saying that I want to become a healthier person and all of that. To an extent this is the truth: I am looking to lose weight in order to become healthier to avoid future illnesses; however, I want the positives that come with weight loss. I want the positive outlook, the lack of anxiety, the smaller clothing, etc.
But…I’m lazy. I’m all talk. I don’t know how to get moving. I tell myself that I am going to really do it this time. I tell myself that if I make lists and plans I will be able to resist the lazy lifestyle. The second I crave something (usually chocolate), I get it. I eat lots of it. Then I remorse. I feel awful about myself. I hate it. I hate this vicious cycle.
Don’t confuse this blog with self-pity or depression. I am very happy right now. My life is going insanely well. …It’s just I’m somehow stuck in this fat-girl-unhealthy lifestyle that I have been living for so long now. Change is so hard.
I want to change. I say this all the time. I mean it, I guess? It’s hard to take myself seriously when I know that within an hour I will be eating Hershey Kisses or drinking chocolate milk. Is this post even worth anyone’s time? I may be a lost cause, but there’s a spark of hope inside of me.
After writing this out I had a talk with Dustin.
For those of you who do not know or for those who have forgotten (since it has been so long since I have written anything), Dustin is my boyfriend. He and I have been dating for two years …and six days now 🙂. We live together in an amazing townhouse with our little baby. I should add that by baby I mean my adorable, not quite 2 year old, Tibetan Spaniel/Pug. We both are blessed with being able to work from home. This is all because of Dustin. He is a go-getter with a slight obsession with making money; not to the point where it blinds him from everyday life. Regardless, our lifestyle is pretty relaxing.
Our talk was honest. I explained to him that I need help. He knows that I have a huge issue with staying on any kind of diet or exercise plan; however, this talk was different. I fully disclosed every thought I have been feeling. I told him that I don’t trust myself when it comes to food and that I believe that my upbringing is to blame for my food obsession. I need to quit cold turkey. I know this is typically not recommended and a lot of people do not do well with this sort of plan, but I do not know what else to do.
Therefore I have decided to get rid of everything in my kitchen and bedroom: no more food. I am keeping water and possibly frozen chicken/vegetables, but everything else goes. The next part of my plan is going to be another thing that I am sure a lot of you will disagree with. I plan on using this kind of outline:
Breakfast Choices:
Lunch Choices:
Dinner Choices:
Snacks
I know that the items that I have chosen are not the healthiest. With that being said I need to learn to not overeat. This is a huge problem for me that I cannot even begin to understand. I have heard the advice of “only give yourself small portions” or “buy smaller dishes”; I have tried these methods. Dustin laughed at me when I told him this; however, I have given myself smaller portions. I make dinner for the two of us and what happens is I’ll scarf down a whole bunch before I put some on our dishes to eat. I know that this is wrong and that I should stop, but I can’t. Therefore I am going to make it impossible. The only way that I can overeat with these choices is if I make two of one item. This is going to be a lot harder with Dustin paying more attention.
Also, I like my chosen foods. I guess it should have been said before: Dustin and I have been eating fast food almost every other night (if not more). My thoughts are that even eating soup and canned food is going to be healthier for me than the value meals that I have been piling in my poor abused body.
I feel excited about this plan. I know that this is typically how I normally feel, but I also know that I have the power to make this work. IÂ will be writing every day; multiple times a day. This is going to be my journal, my confessions.
I am 271.5 pounds….the largest I have ever been.Â
Let the change begin!
So I may or may not be sitting here eating fudgy & chwy mini browneis from Wegmans. The point of this post is making money. I want to pay off Dustin and I’s debt (it’s all mostly student loans) and have everything that I want in life. I know what you are thinking:Â who doesn’t want that? Well, you are right. We all want this. That is why I want to write about it. I want to start researching. Dustin and I are already working from home (while still supporting ourselves financially) so I guess that we are already ahead of the gun. I just want to make it go further. I want to find another thing that will set us up for life. Selling tvs, cars, etc. Anything that will take us to the point where we can just live without having to be tied down with our debt. I want to get married and start a family, but not until I know that we are stable and ready. Therefore it is now time to research. Maybe I’ll start with drop shipping. I’ll let you guys know what I find.
….I was definitely eating brownies. Failed day, I suppose.
-J
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